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Halloween/Costume Ideas
Halloween is a "holiday" celebrated by Baby Jesus Haters. It is characterized by people getting dressed up in costumes to "frighten" away spirits. Please post the name of the costume you will be wearing this year and a brief description of it in the appropriate section below, or add a new one, here Costumes Stephen Colbert --To dress like Stephen Colbert is against the 11th commandment-- Thou Shalt Not Dress Like Colbert For he is as close to godlyness as possible and thou who doust dress like him shall be smited # remove all your clothing except a fashionable tie and tube socks # cover your shameful nakedness with an American flag. Bill O'Reilly # Wear clothes from your website, and tell people where they can get them # Carry a copy of Keith Olbermann's "The Worst Person In the World: And 202 Strong Contenders" and complain to people about how much space you got in it # Make obviously incorrect facts up # Ignore the truth and change the topic when people point out the fake facts # Fly into a mindless rage whenever you see someone dressed as Keith Olbermann Dick Cheney #Put on Some hunting Fatigues #Go buy a Rifle, preferably one that you can load birdshot in #Have a few drinks of Wild Turkey with Supreme Court appointees to set the right atmosphere #START BLASTIN!!! #If you hit anyone, have another round of drinks and wait 24 hours before reporting it The Greatest President Ever # Go Pick up a George W bush Mask at your Nearby Wal-Mart Retailer # Now Stay Home! Look at the polls, you're about as popular as razor blades in candied apples Larry Craig # using cardboard or foam core, fashion a bathroom stall around you. # Wear dress shoes on your feet and suit pants around your ankles. # Nudge people with your shoes # Alternately tell people you are or are not resigning # Deny any gay or bisexual nature Mahmoud Ahmadinejad #Get Some Robes #Put a towel on your head (try to be colorful so you stand out more) #Go around Punching Out people you SUSPECT to be jews they dont actually have to be but as long as you suspect they are. #Make sure you re yelling DOWN WITH ISRAEL. (Would also be prefered if you can find some uranium) Buddhist Monk # get some tattered Robes # Pour Gas All Over Yourself # Go Out in Public with a Sign Labeled End the Vietnam War # Light yourself on Fire # make sure you take Alot of pain killers (Buddhist Monks dont scream when they are on fire) Ann Coulter (women only) # get a sex change # get a Size-L prosthetic Adam's Apple # follow directions for men and women noted below (men & women) # surgically add an extra joint (wrist or elbow) into your left arm # wear a tiny black dress, an eye patch and a mostly blond wig (be sure the roots are black) # insult everyone you meet and when they return the favor play the victim Hillary Clinton ---WARNING--- May Cause Small Children to go Blind # wear a pantsuit # use a southern accent at every other house Dennnis Kucinich # go to an estate sale, buy everything # add 400 pockets to a "Peter Pan" or "Hobbit" costume # fill the pockets with everything you bought at the estate sale Keith Olbermann # Get a life-size Xerox of Bill O'Reilly's head # Attach to a popsicle stick # When you see revelers dressed as Bill O'Reilly, make sure to smile and give them a Nazi salute to make them feel more welcome and at home # Introduce every "O'Reilly," "Limbaugh," or "Coulter" as the worst person in the world # Point out the obvious illogic everytime revelers dressed as GW Bush say anything